Weight loss... Too much??

I thought the weight loss was suppose to slow down once you got pregnant.. Yup I said pregnant.. We found out on Easter that we are expecting a Christmas baby!! Finally after 3 years of trying the one month we really stopped trying it happened.. I don’t know if was the stress stopping us from conceiving or if it was 70 pounds I had to lose, either way once I lost the weight and stopped stressing… it worked.. We are now about 6 weeks out and are very excited but very nervous. I have lost 12 pounds since finding out.. And I am not sure how much weight I am suppose to lose.. I hope I am not losing to much.. I have another doc appointment in the AM and an U/S on Wednesday.. I hope everything is going to work out ok.. Wish me luck!

Faith

So the other day I was looking at a magazine from our church and there was a quote in there that really made a lot of sense to me, and has helped me through this week, It is by Neal A. Maxwell, “Faith in God, includes Faith in his timing.”

I really like it, and it makes me realize I am not going to be thin over night, and if I happen to not lose any weight in 2 weeks its ok, it just means my body is adjusting. I hate it but I have to remember that it’s not up to me...

I also have to remember that it is not up to me when or if we ever get pregnant. It is in Gods hands and will happen only on his time..

Ok Heavenly Father, you ask me to be patient.. I am trying!!!

SAME OUTFIT!

Same Outfit..

This is my heaviest



64 pounds lighter.. Now weighing 225!

50 pounds!

So I am officially 50 pounds down since surgery. So a total of 70 since my heaviest. I am very excited. I am now 238 pounds. Here are some pictures.
50 freakin pounds!!





Pants down from a 24/26 to a 18/20 that is 4 pant sizes!!! cant believe it!!

Finding joys in time of exhaustion

So last night when I went upstairs to the attic to look at where the roof was leaking from, I remembered that I had an entire suit case full of clothes that I couldn’t fit into 6 months ago. Well I took them out last night and tried them on. About a quarter of the stuff is wayyyyy to big now, about quarter of it fits but doesn’t look good on my new figure  and half of it fits. I am excited that I have some more clothes that will fit while I am in between sizes right now.

Talking about sizes I am now comfortably fitting into an 18! I am very excited.

And to top it all off…. I am officially down 50 pounds!!, since surgery. I can’t believe it. So that is 69 pounds from my heaviest.

I have had probably one of the most physically and mentally and emotionally exhausting 2 weeks in a very long time and I find joys in these little milestones.a

Milestones

I did it!! I broke the 250 mark!! I got on the scale this morning and I was 248.6!! I am very excited.. Not only that but I got out of the shower today and wrapped the towel around me to walk to my bedroom.. and i was able to wrap the towel completely around myself so nothing showed.. I haven't been able to do that in YEARS! All of these little milestones are making me very happy.. I cant believe how blessed I am..

I am finally thinner then my husband!!

Today has been actually pretty good.. I am having such a hard time remembering to eat... I had some lentil soup today, some regular cheese and some cottage cheese. Yum!

So before I started this whole journey I couldn't even fit into my husbands pants, well my brother asked me today what size in men's pants i was, i said i had no idea, so i went to see if i could fit into my husband pants yet, and they fit like a glove.. Perfect... I am soo excited.. as far as my pant size... I am now a 20!! I can still fit into a 22 but i can now fit into a 20!!! Holy... My heaviest ever was 308 today I got on the scale and I was 253!! I cant even believe that is 55 pounds!!!!!! Holy Moly O. I feel soo much better since I started all this.. Every time i work out i feel better.. and eating is getting better too..I am soo blessed........

This week

I am consumed by drama this week, and it brings me down. I have never been one who deals with stress and drama well. I am feeling sick due to my throwing everything back up when i try to eat it, so my energy is low. I am trying to find a job that i will enjoy, but more then anything i just want to be a stay at home mom. Now that wont happen for at least another year( your suppose to wait at least 12-18 months before getting pregnant) and then i will be able to hopefully to have children at that point. I am down 36 pounds since i went into the hospital 5 weeks ago. I am excited about the weight loss but still feel like something is missing in my life. I am just still trying to figure out what that is.....

Start of it all... My heaviest ... and now...

My heaviest 308

Now 258.

This first picture is when I realized holy crap i need to do something about my weight. I never in a million years would have imagined that I would look like that. I really thank God every day for this amazing opportunity to get my weight under control and my health and LIFE back.....

Weight loss slowing down

I think I need to realize I am not going to lose all my weight over night. I only lost 3 pounds this week. I am starting to lose more slowly but even if it is 2 lbs a week its ok. I took a picture tonight, and compared it to last week. I don’t see any difference. I think I should only take a pic every 3 weeks or so, so I don’t get too frustrated.
I am starting to work out . I went to the gym for the first time since surgery this evening, and I feel soo much better. I can’t wait for another 3 weeks when I can really push myself. I have another 113 lbs to go till I hit my ideal weight. So if I lose 2 lbs a week it will take a year. I hope my impatience can deal with that. *sigh*

today

Today has been one of those days. I feel really tired and sort of depressed. I know I will lose the weight eventually but I want the next three weeks to go by faster. I tried this weekend starting to eat real food (soft cooked pasta and vegetables, and tried hard boiled eggs) but every time I eat I just throw it back up. Not fun. I get on the scale and it doesn’t move. I am getting frustrated. I could probably do the no eating things I enjoy, if I at least saw the scale move. I am glad I have this blog to just get out my frustrations on. And I am so blessed to have a husband who is constantly trying to make me happy. I am falling asleep will write more later.

Pictures

This is me the morning of surgery




Three weeks and 23 lbs later ( January 28th) 267

Four weeks 27 pounds down ( February 4th) 263


almost six weeks 41 pounds down (February 22) 248

Down a total of 64 pounds ( 225)

A little up date

So I know I haven’t written in forever. I had my first post-op appointment today. On Wednesday it will be 3 weeks since my surgery and I am already down 20 lbs. They said everything looks fabulous. So of course to treat myself I went SHOPPING!!!! I had to throw out 3 bras and I went from a 46DDD down to a 42 DD. My shirt size was a 26/28 (4X) and now I am a 18/20 (XL)!!! I am a pear shape now; which I don’t like, but I am excited that I know my waist will catch up with my top half soon enough. I feel great! And on Wednesday I can start eating real food again. I am very excited.

Stress

I am the first to admit it, I am a stress eater. Today had been one of those days and i want to eat everything in the house. But I cant, and I would never. Today has been completely stressed due to William having to be admitted to a mental institution. He threatened to kill me today, and I am now a little overwhelmed. I have to take a shower and get to bed.

Monday Morning

Woke up at 5 am this morning with a really bad stomach ache. I think I pushed myself too hard yesterday trying to paint one of our rental properties. I feel so lazy just sitting around doing nothing, but I know its for the best to just try to recover. My mother in-law is in town and I am grateful that she is willing to come up here and help us with stuff around the property and all. My Mom and Pop came over yesterday to help as well, I am so blessed to have them in my life.

Today I am going to try to drink just a lot of water and of course my protein shakes, but not much more then that. I am going to try to see if my stomach will calm itself down.

I got on the scale this morning and I am down another 2 lbs. So since i started this whole thing that's 9 lbs total. I am SO excited. My face seems much more thinner already. But every day will be interesting to see how my body responses to this surgery.

~Sunday the Sabbath~

Sundays are always really important to me, unfortunately i cant have any solid food yet so I cant even take the sacrament. I woke up this morning with my back really hurting and my stomach growling. I have never been one to eat breakfast but now i know that i cant get away with not eating. I usually start the day out with 1 ounce of plain water, and then follow that with another ounce and my pills. Yeah I am finally starting to actually get in the hang of this. I have never been one to actually take my pills. Then some time before 10 I have to get in my 2 ounces of protein shake.

I am going to steer away from Popsicles today. I was having too many B.M.s yesterday and i am wondering if that is what was causing it or if it was the Chicken broth that i tried for the first time since surgery yesterday. I will try just chicken broth tomorrow, and water of course to see if that is what is causing my b.m.s. till later

Back pain

My back pain tends to kick in when i am trying to rest. The gas just loves to sit right on my spine. I am using a heating pad ( thanks Kira) and am able to finally rest. I walked so much the first couple days my hips are killing me. I have already lost, as far as i can tell using my piece a crap scale, 6 pounds. I am having some energy problems still, and i think i might be over doing it as far as the lifting goes. My first "taste" craving is... Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I would NEVER eat it, but boy do i want want. I am never hungry, and it is actually difficult to even drink my 6 oz of protein shake and all the other liquid i am suppose to be having. I think every day will get better and easier.

Saturday

Feeling soo much better today. I am glad, every day I feel better. I have less energy today. Need to make sure i take my multi vitamins, but feeling better from the gas. I can feel the incision sites a lot more now, and i hate having to give myself shots, but besides that i am feeling SOO GOOD.

Going home, Friday

I was able to finally go home today. I was feeling much better, still very tired, but much much better. They said every day that goes by I should be feeling better and better. I am in so much pain right now I cant get over it. My back feels like a blimp is stuck in my back. and every time i cough or sneeze, Oh my! I really hope i start feeling better, and reallly fast.

Thursday from hell

I was in soo much pain today. I felt like I had to give birth to a freakin 15 lb bowling ball. Oh my gosh, I never realized that I would be in THIS much pain. I seriously thought that I would be in pain from the actually surgery, which I am, but the GAS holy crap! I really hope I am able to pass some gas. I was begging my nurse Liz for some stronger pain meds, but she said the only thing she could give me was something to the equivalent of some Tylenol. WHAT THE HECK! I was so mad. And they were able to give me some meds for the gas. How much that helped, not! I was finally able to pass some gas that night.

Wednesday

MY surgery: I got to the hospital at 6:45 am on Wednesday the 7th. We waited in the waiting room like 30 mins. I never understand why they tell you to get here so early if they don’t even come and talk to you. Well I finally went and told Jason to ask them what was taking so long. Well this witchy lady came and said, “ well I will just take her!” How rude! Well I finally got in a room, and was able to sit around for almost hours. Well worth the wait, I had this amazing nurse come in, and she was a blast. She got me hooked up with my iv and all. Well I finally went in the surgery room, they didn’t have the hover mat to help move me back onto the table that I needed to be on, and the last I remember is them moving me over to the surgery table, putting the medicine in my iv. And then………… the next I woke up to people calling my name and my mom was standing there. Calista and Megan came up (love you girls) but I was soo out of it.

I was able to sleep for a little longer after they were there. That night didn’t get much better for me.
So the doctor told me that I to either go pee or get a catheter put in. LET ME TELL YOU!! I was sitting on the freakin toilet forever trying to go pee to no avail. I had it in for about an hour till I said, “you either take it out or I will.” Well they took it out and I was finally able to go by myself. THANK YOU!!

One hell of a day

Today of course is one of those days where Jason has his masters degree project due, William is acting completely freaking crazy, and I have a potential tenant coming at 5:30 and the electric company is coming either between 3 and 5. I am soo hungry but for some reason today has been a lot easier to not want food. I am glad. I am so excited that tomorrow is my surgery date, and in exactly 18 hrs I will be going to the hospital. I am sooo excited, but so nervous. I am glad that I have faith in Jesus Christ, that if I were not to make it through surgery that I would be taken care of. I hope that my family and friends know that I love them, and appreciate their support in my endeavor to find myself.

36 Hours

So I am less than 36 hours away from my surgery. I went by the doctors office today to pay a bill and I met some of the people who were geting the surgery the same day as me. YEAH!! I am still on the liquid diet and boy do i hate it. I am looking forward to Wednesday.

3 day clear liquid diet

I am going a little crazy today. I want nothing more then to enjoy a nice big salad, or even a freakin cracker. I cant have any of it. I am going to try to sleep a lot of the next couple days. i am sooo sick of not being able to eat. I know that this is something that i need to do. I will post later.

The start of it all.

This whole thing started when I couldn’t get (stay) pregnant, Jason (my husband) and I have been trying to start a family of our own since December 2005. So I had my first appointment to meet with the Doctor Graber. I was really nervous about this. I have sooo much weight to loose. and I couldn’t wait to finally get this process underway. I am planning on going to Dr. William Graber, my mom went to him, she lost 150 lbs, my mom’s best friend went to him, she lost 100, my moms other best friend went to him, and she lost almost 200lbs!! I really would be happy if i were 180. I don't know if my body would look good anything less than that. Well I went to the appointment got accepted right there, and was able to even get a general idea of my surgery date. They said beginning of January. NO WAY!! I was soo excited. Well I went out to Utah and California to see my sisters, and when I was out there I got a letter in the mail saying, January 7th!!. I couldn’t believe it. Now here I am only 3 days away from surgery and just a day in to the liquid diet. I will keep you posted on how that goes.