today

Today has been one of those days. I feel really tired and sort of depressed. I know I will lose the weight eventually but I want the next three weeks to go by faster. I tried this weekend starting to eat real food (soft cooked pasta and vegetables, and tried hard boiled eggs) but every time I eat I just throw it back up. Not fun. I get on the scale and it doesn’t move. I am getting frustrated. I could probably do the no eating things I enjoy, if I at least saw the scale move. I am glad I have this blog to just get out my frustrations on. And I am so blessed to have a husband who is constantly trying to make me happy. I am falling asleep will write more later.

Pictures

This is me the morning of surgery




Three weeks and 23 lbs later ( January 28th) 267

Four weeks 27 pounds down ( February 4th) 263


almost six weeks 41 pounds down (February 22) 248

Down a total of 64 pounds ( 225)

A little up date

So I know I haven’t written in forever. I had my first post-op appointment today. On Wednesday it will be 3 weeks since my surgery and I am already down 20 lbs. They said everything looks fabulous. So of course to treat myself I went SHOPPING!!!! I had to throw out 3 bras and I went from a 46DDD down to a 42 DD. My shirt size was a 26/28 (4X) and now I am a 18/20 (XL)!!! I am a pear shape now; which I don’t like, but I am excited that I know my waist will catch up with my top half soon enough. I feel great! And on Wednesday I can start eating real food again. I am very excited.

Stress

I am the first to admit it, I am a stress eater. Today had been one of those days and i want to eat everything in the house. But I cant, and I would never. Today has been completely stressed due to William having to be admitted to a mental institution. He threatened to kill me today, and I am now a little overwhelmed. I have to take a shower and get to bed.

Monday Morning

Woke up at 5 am this morning with a really bad stomach ache. I think I pushed myself too hard yesterday trying to paint one of our rental properties. I feel so lazy just sitting around doing nothing, but I know its for the best to just try to recover. My mother in-law is in town and I am grateful that she is willing to come up here and help us with stuff around the property and all. My Mom and Pop came over yesterday to help as well, I am so blessed to have them in my life.

Today I am going to try to drink just a lot of water and of course my protein shakes, but not much more then that. I am going to try to see if my stomach will calm itself down.

I got on the scale this morning and I am down another 2 lbs. So since i started this whole thing that's 9 lbs total. I am SO excited. My face seems much more thinner already. But every day will be interesting to see how my body responses to this surgery.

~Sunday the Sabbath~

Sundays are always really important to me, unfortunately i cant have any solid food yet so I cant even take the sacrament. I woke up this morning with my back really hurting and my stomach growling. I have never been one to eat breakfast but now i know that i cant get away with not eating. I usually start the day out with 1 ounce of plain water, and then follow that with another ounce and my pills. Yeah I am finally starting to actually get in the hang of this. I have never been one to actually take my pills. Then some time before 10 I have to get in my 2 ounces of protein shake.

I am going to steer away from Popsicles today. I was having too many B.M.s yesterday and i am wondering if that is what was causing it or if it was the Chicken broth that i tried for the first time since surgery yesterday. I will try just chicken broth tomorrow, and water of course to see if that is what is causing my b.m.s. till later

Back pain

My back pain tends to kick in when i am trying to rest. The gas just loves to sit right on my spine. I am using a heating pad ( thanks Kira) and am able to finally rest. I walked so much the first couple days my hips are killing me. I have already lost, as far as i can tell using my piece a crap scale, 6 pounds. I am having some energy problems still, and i think i might be over doing it as far as the lifting goes. My first "taste" craving is... Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I would NEVER eat it, but boy do i want want. I am never hungry, and it is actually difficult to even drink my 6 oz of protein shake and all the other liquid i am suppose to be having. I think every day will get better and easier.

Saturday

Feeling soo much better today. I am glad, every day I feel better. I have less energy today. Need to make sure i take my multi vitamins, but feeling better from the gas. I can feel the incision sites a lot more now, and i hate having to give myself shots, but besides that i am feeling SOO GOOD.

Going home, Friday

I was able to finally go home today. I was feeling much better, still very tired, but much much better. They said every day that goes by I should be feeling better and better. I am in so much pain right now I cant get over it. My back feels like a blimp is stuck in my back. and every time i cough or sneeze, Oh my! I really hope i start feeling better, and reallly fast.

Thursday from hell

I was in soo much pain today. I felt like I had to give birth to a freakin 15 lb bowling ball. Oh my gosh, I never realized that I would be in THIS much pain. I seriously thought that I would be in pain from the actually surgery, which I am, but the GAS holy crap! I really hope I am able to pass some gas. I was begging my nurse Liz for some stronger pain meds, but she said the only thing she could give me was something to the equivalent of some Tylenol. WHAT THE HECK! I was so mad. And they were able to give me some meds for the gas. How much that helped, not! I was finally able to pass some gas that night.

Wednesday

MY surgery: I got to the hospital at 6:45 am on Wednesday the 7th. We waited in the waiting room like 30 mins. I never understand why they tell you to get here so early if they don’t even come and talk to you. Well I finally went and told Jason to ask them what was taking so long. Well this witchy lady came and said, “ well I will just take her!” How rude! Well I finally got in a room, and was able to sit around for almost hours. Well worth the wait, I had this amazing nurse come in, and she was a blast. She got me hooked up with my iv and all. Well I finally went in the surgery room, they didn’t have the hover mat to help move me back onto the table that I needed to be on, and the last I remember is them moving me over to the surgery table, putting the medicine in my iv. And then………… the next I woke up to people calling my name and my mom was standing there. Calista and Megan came up (love you girls) but I was soo out of it.

I was able to sleep for a little longer after they were there. That night didn’t get much better for me.
So the doctor told me that I to either go pee or get a catheter put in. LET ME TELL YOU!! I was sitting on the freakin toilet forever trying to go pee to no avail. I had it in for about an hour till I said, “you either take it out or I will.” Well they took it out and I was finally able to go by myself. THANK YOU!!

One hell of a day

Today of course is one of those days where Jason has his masters degree project due, William is acting completely freaking crazy, and I have a potential tenant coming at 5:30 and the electric company is coming either between 3 and 5. I am soo hungry but for some reason today has been a lot easier to not want food. I am glad. I am so excited that tomorrow is my surgery date, and in exactly 18 hrs I will be going to the hospital. I am sooo excited, but so nervous. I am glad that I have faith in Jesus Christ, that if I were not to make it through surgery that I would be taken care of. I hope that my family and friends know that I love them, and appreciate their support in my endeavor to find myself.

36 Hours

So I am less than 36 hours away from my surgery. I went by the doctors office today to pay a bill and I met some of the people who were geting the surgery the same day as me. YEAH!! I am still on the liquid diet and boy do i hate it. I am looking forward to Wednesday.

3 day clear liquid diet

I am going a little crazy today. I want nothing more then to enjoy a nice big salad, or even a freakin cracker. I cant have any of it. I am going to try to sleep a lot of the next couple days. i am sooo sick of not being able to eat. I know that this is something that i need to do. I will post later.

The start of it all.

This whole thing started when I couldn’t get (stay) pregnant, Jason (my husband) and I have been trying to start a family of our own since December 2005. So I had my first appointment to meet with the Doctor Graber. I was really nervous about this. I have sooo much weight to loose. and I couldn’t wait to finally get this process underway. I am planning on going to Dr. William Graber, my mom went to him, she lost 150 lbs, my mom’s best friend went to him, she lost 100, my moms other best friend went to him, and she lost almost 200lbs!! I really would be happy if i were 180. I don't know if my body would look good anything less than that. Well I went to the appointment got accepted right there, and was able to even get a general idea of my surgery date. They said beginning of January. NO WAY!! I was soo excited. Well I went out to Utah and California to see my sisters, and when I was out there I got a letter in the mail saying, January 7th!!. I couldn’t believe it. Now here I am only 3 days away from surgery and just a day in to the liquid diet. I will keep you posted on how that goes.